The Hunt

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here… a few quotes here and there, but for the most part, radio silence from me. Why?

Because I’ve been on the hunt: the hunt for Yogic Bliss.

What is Yogic Bliss, you ask? Well, let me tell you: Yogic Bliss is a hazy, glowing fog of pure, unadulturated joy. It hovers around its wearers, clinging in golden droplets to their skin, inspiring them to practice yoga asana and meditation every second of every day. These blessed Blissed Out Ones write witty commentary in their blogs, say namaste to grocery store clerks and bus drivers, and they can hold handstand for five whole minutes.

I very badly wanted to be one of them, and I figured graduation would lure my share of Yogic Bliss right to me. I would graduate, and overnight would become the poster child for Yogic Bliss. Though I knew in my head that a certain amount of adjustment would need to happen this summer, I wasn’t really prepared for it. I was shocked when graduation didn’t turn out to be the ultimate Bliss Bait, and proceeded to hunt for it elsewhere.

  • I hunted for Yogic Bliss in early, early morning yoga classes, but I mostly got tired.
  • I hunted for Yogic Bliss in my friends, but we mostly just laughed a lot.
  • I hunted for Yogic Bliss in my family, but we mostly just hugged a lot.

Yogic Bliss is an elusive prey. The more I searched, the more frustrated I got. So I thought, maybe I should look in other places.

  • I looked in online television shows, but I found addiction and fuzzy eyes instead.
  • I looked in online dating, but I mostly got a lot of boring first dates.
  • I looked in my part-time waitressing gig, but I just found a hot kitchen and some new friends (see above, re: laughter).

And then one day last week, on vacation with my family, I woke up in the Costa Rican rainforest and thought, “I kind of like my life.” I mean, I don’t have many hobbies outside of yoga, and I’m not jumping up and down over waitressing, and I don’t love the city… but I love to teach, not one of my students has gotten injured in my classes, and the feedback I get from them is always good. I love connecting with my friends, spending time with these amazing people, hearing about and sharing their lives. I love, love, love my family, and I am blessed to belong with them. And hobbies will come, once I find a little more balance in my post-graduation life.

And this week I’m seeing, the more I look around, that no one around me is walking around in a golden misty cloud. Where are all those Blissed Out yogis whose ranks I’ve been yearning to join? I see a few who say namaste to strangers, and a few whose asana practices are off the hook, and a few who write witty blogs without taking whole summers off… but every one of them is in a very different process of finding balance in their lives.

So, I’m hanging up my hunting cap. Yogic Bliss, that elusive shimmering prey, will come to me or not… but in the meantime, I have people to see and a blog to write and I have a life to live, and I kind of like it. And that knowledge is a much greater gift than any vague, fuzzy golden cloud.

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~ by Carmen Celeste Thurston on August 27, 2011.

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